Don’t have a ‘best friend’?

I have never really had what we consider a “best friend.” My husband is my best friend, but outside him, nope.

I do have close friends. Friends who challenge me, help me, cheer me, love me.

I must admit, for the longest time I lived in the trap of thinking that because I didn’t have a BEST friend, one to whom I was utmost and to me was utmost, I wasn’t worthy of such a friendship, I wasn’t likable, I wasn’t enough.

I see that thinking in our culture today. We have the misconception that we will have ONE friend who will be everything for us, one who is perfect.

Do you fit that description? Yeah, neither do I. I’m simply not perfect, and I do not fit the movie version of a best friend.

Many people who cannot fit the description are letting the fact that no one else can fit that description wreck their lives by determining that they aren’t worthy of friends at all. They hunker down and avoid people altogether. Some choose anesthesia of some kind—drugs, alcohol, gambling, porn, shopping, etc. to take the place of the best friend they don’t have.

I believe the enemy has perverted the meaning of friendship, leading us to think that one best friend is all we need and all we get and if we don’t get that,
we’re failures.

He’s sort of right about that one friend, because the only one who truly fits the description is Jesus and He really is the only one we need. BUT, we’re human, and we need friends we can see and touch around us who will help us succeed.

The thing is, that may not be the same friend today as was yesterday. Tomorrow’s friend may not even be known to you today.

It’s time to stop believing that all our needs will be met by one human. They won’t. They can’t. Just like you can’t meet all the needs of one human, no one else can either.

You can, however, be the person that fills a space for someone else. You can be the cheerleader for this person and the accountability for that one. By the same token, you will find different needs met in different people.

Instead of feeling like a failure for not finding that one person who can meet your every need, rejoice that you are surrounded by people who can meet your every need. If you’re not surrounded, determine why not.

It might be that you need to drop your defenses and lower your expectations.

No, I’m not saying choose friends who are not godly, but definitely allow people who aren’t perfect into your life. Become the friend you want to have, and allow time for relationships to develop.

As always, seek the Lord first and ask Him for the friends you need in your life, then be open to receive who He sends your way.

Be the friend who helps others succeed.

Coffee, Bible, Journal.

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Faye Bryant

Faye Bryant is an author, coach, and speaker who helps individuals escape the lies of the enemy, live into God’s truth, and build a better life by first feeling, dealing, and healing their way through a stuck future or an abused past, toward a deeper path of purpose, and into the unhackable life of their chosen legacy. Hers is a story of resurrection: from death to life!