We all have issues with our confidence sometimes. Whether it’s speaking before a crowd or talking to the boss, sometimes the most confident feel at a loss. Many times it’s the what-ifs and negative self-talk that cause self-confidence to plummet. What if there was something you could do to make the changes necessary to keep your confidence at a level that would help you live forward successfully? Would you try it?

Here they are: Three proven steps that can boost your flagging self-confidence.

Imagine this scenario:

Work doesn’t feel satisfying. You don’t feel like you’ve been getting enough responsibility at work. You’d like to prove you’re capable of more, perhaps get a promotion. But you don’t say anything. You hope your boss will somehow magically understand and be the first to bring it up.

Or try this:

You’ve been interested in a certain someone for a long time. So far, you’ve been content to watch from afar. You find yourself wistfully thinking about how nice it would be if they noticed you if they said hello. You wait, silently, not far away and wonder if you’ll ever catch their eye.

If either of these scenarios sounds familiar, it might be you’re needing a substantial boost in your self-confidence. Confidence is what takes us from the world of wishful thinking over into action. Confidence starts a conversation. Confidence gives you the impetus to stand up and say what’s on your mind.

The problem with self-confidence is it tends to stem from your self-talk. What you tell yourself dictates how you’re feeling about yourself. If you’re constantly putting yourself down, you’re going to struggle with feeling confident enough to approach a difficult situation. After all, if you don’t like yourself, how can you expect the world to?

You can change these scenarios. You start with changing your self-talk in three easy steps.

Start Listening

When you really pay attention to what you’re saying, you might be surprised. Most of us tune out the words we say most often because we’ve heard them so many times before. You might be amazed at just how negative some of those thoughts are.

Verify What’s True, and What Isn’t

The question then becomes, just which of these statements are true, and which ones aren’t. What evidence do you have of this? Don’t be afraid to become an investigator. For example, are you always late? Check and find out. Our minds are very good at blowing things out of proportion.

Rephrase What’s Being Said

If you don’t like the answers, you’re getting in the previous step, it’s time to rephrase what you’re saying. Replace outright lies with positive truths. Turn statements around into questions that seek out solutions. 

By being mindful of your self-talk, you’ll find your confidence growing exponentially. You’ll feel better about yourself, and more courageous in being able to express your feelings, with the expectation that someone else will want to listen to what you’re saying. After all, when you like you, how can anyone else resist?

Now you have the tools. It’s time to get to work using them. If you need help with that, book a coffee break with me and we’ll talk about it.