In this Saturday Sit Down with Faye, you’ll discover:
What Is Perfectionism?
Webster: a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable
Brene Brown: “the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield.” She notes that according to research, “perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.”
How Do You Know You’re Dealing With Perfectionism?
From Psychology Today:
- NEGATIVE SELF-TALK
- PREOCCUPATION WITH MINUTIAE
- PERFECTIONISM PERMEATES (AND STRAINS) YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
- A PROPENSITY FOR ALL OR NOTHING THINKING
- SHYING AWAY FROM NEW EXPERIENCES
- LETTING GO OF CONTROL PUTS YOU IN A TAILSPIN
- QUIETING YOUR MIND IS A NO-GO.
Where Does Perfectionism Come From?
Parents who were perfect? No.
Parents who were perfectionists? Maybe.
To address and correct the perfectionism, we must address the fear.
Louie Giglio, in Goliath Must Fall wrote:
The solution to facing the giant of fear is not determination but faith in Jesus. It isn’t so much saying, “Fear, go away,” but confessing, “I have confidence that Jesus is bigger than this giant and has already defeated it.” In Romans 10:17, Paul states, “Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (NKJV). When you see and hear God in and through his Word, the Word allows you to see and hear that He is bigger than your giant. That builds up your faith, and your faith in turn becomes the stone that shuts up the giant that’s already defeated.
So today, identify the source of your fear and place it in the hands of Jesus. Remind yourself that with God all things are possible (see Matthew 19:26) and he is able to overcome this giant. Remember that Jesus has promised to always be with you (see Hebrews 13:5). Name what is keeping you up at night, and then offload those cares to the One who has promised to care for you (see 1 Peter 5:7). Then fill your mouth with praise because you see God’s might, recognize his love for you, and know that he will always come through. His mercy will never fail (see Lamentations 3:22).”
Imagine Jesus today whispering in your ear, “I really, really love you. I am already pleased with you!” It might feel crazy to think the God of heaven—the creator of the universe—knows you so personally. Many of us freak out when we get thirty likes on a social media post. Yet the God of the universe is mindful of you (see Psalm 8)! He has pursued you (see Luke 15:3–7).
God is calling you to a greater purpose that your comfortable life provides. He wants to give you real influence. He wants you to walk in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. He wants you to step out in obedience to his will. He invites you today to gear up, rally around his battle cry, and engage the enemy.
My biggest takeaways for you from this video are:
- Perfectionism is the belief that if we act, look, and live perfect, we minimize the pain of blame, shame, or judgment. It hampers success in all areas of our lives.
- There are several factors that identify perfectionism in our lives. Negative self-talk is one.
- Perfectionism is born of fear. We don’t battle fear with courage, we fight it with faith.
To learn more about how you can Get things done and Stop letting perfectionism keep you from your goals (without having to vuy or borrow anything to do it), Sign up for a FREE consultation to see how coaching can help you battle your fear and succeed at life at FayeBryant.com/coach, then click the red button.